I’m gonna just say it. Perfectionism is blasphemous. It goes well beyond being damaging to you. Being perfect is NOT your job. It’s not your job. It’s also not possible, and I don’t just mean it’s out of reach because it’s too hard. I mean that perfectionism is not attained based on your decisions so no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t possibly approach it.
Anxiety and How You're Creating it
That title stings a bit, doesn’t it. But you can’t fix something if you don’t see it clearly. So let’s uncloak it, shall we?
Depression typically comes from worrying about the past. Anxiety comes from worrying about the future.
When you worry about the future, you are choosing to fear something that hasn’t happened yet. You are pouring energy, emotion, time, and effort into something that isn’t even real, and that may never be real. You’re giving away happiness and enjoyment, or at least absence of stress that you could be enjoying because the thing you fear isn’t actually happening in this moment. Instead, you’re pouring all your energy and worry into something that doesn’t need to be addressed right now and that literally CAN’T be addressed right now because it isn’t happening.
Instead, take a deep breath and zoom out and observe your thoughts. Spend 2 minutes thinking “That thing I’m afraid of COULD happen. What would I do if it did? How would I handle it? Could I choose to be okay if it happened? Could I eventually be okay if it happened? If I can’t imagine any possible way I could be okay if that happened, am I okay right now with that thing not having happened?”
The answer to that last question is always yes. With the scary thing not having happened, you are okay in that regard at the present moment because the bad thing has NOT happened! So why are you robbing yourself of enjoying the peace you have in this present moment by pouring all your thoughts and emotions and energy into dealing with a figment of your imagination?? YOU are in charge of your imagination! If it is making you miserable, CHANGE IT!
Yes, that takes effort. Yes, it takes discipline. Yes, it takes focus. Yes, it takes energy. But I promise you that it is well worth it to establish new patterns that will ultimately bring you peace! You are already giving effort, discipline, focus, and energy to the thing you fear. Why not redirect it into something that brings you peace and joy and hope?
Living without anxiety is a choice that you develop into a habit. It’s stopping the runaway train of thought that takes you into a dark place where you worry about things you imagine might happen that will disturb you and disrupt your happiness. You’re disrupting you happiness by thinking about it! STOP! Literally, tell your brain, “STOP. Here’s the new story.” And pour that same energy, that same focus, that same amount of emotion into a story that makes you feel good! Fixate on the good story just as hard and obsessively as you were fixating on the bad one. The good thing is usually more likely than the bad one to happen anyway, but what you think about, you bring about. So every time you have the thought “See, I knew that was going to happen,” recognize that you had a hand in creating that reality by thinking and thinking and thinking about it. We can talk more about how our thoughts and words create our reality another time, but trust that they do play a critical role in the life we experience!
So every time you feel the anxious thoughts and feelings start to come up, say “STOP! What if everything worked out the best way possible?” and let your brain hop on that train of thought. Run away with it.
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The most miraculous thing happened twice in the last 2 days! Effortless happiness for no reason came over me!
Some background: until my early 20’s, I lived in a chronic state of depression. I literally didn’t know anything else. I put a negative spin on everything. I was scared of life. My inner voice was a total bully–super mean and nasty.
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