I’m gonna just say it. Perfectionism is blasphemous. It goes well beyond being damaging to you. Being perfect is NOT your job. It’s not your job. It’s also not possible, and I don’t just mean it’s out of reach because it’s too hard. I mean that perfectionism is not attained based on your decisions so no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t possibly approach it.
Creating Your Reality
Money is a huge part of my journey and story. Money problems ran my life for so many years. It was painful and defeating and hard (boy, was it hard) and miserable. I felt like no matter how hard my husband and I worked to make ends meet, there were still 3 places that needed every penny. I felt helpless, hopeless, discouraged, and like we were never going to know anything but poverty, food stamps, second-hand clothes and furniture, and struggle.
People would talk about how you create your reality and how, when you want something, you just DECIDE, and I’d want to smack them across the face. HARD. “I AM NOT creating my suffering!” I wanted to yell. “I’m doing everything I can to fix it and nothing is working! Stop telling my it’s my fault! YOU come live my life and show where I’m not doing enough!” Ugh. So rude. So insensitive. What kind of la-la land do these people live in where shit just works out for them? And where the eff do I sign up!?
Eventually, on my personal development journey, I had to come face to face with the fact that I did, in fact, have a hand in creating my struggles.
That was a HARD pill to swallow.
I denied it and avoided admitting it for a long time. But in the end, they were right. I had created my struggles. Not on purpose, mind you. Not willfully. Not because I wanted that. Not because I was lazy. Not because I wasn’t trying to create something different.
I created it because I didn’t have the programming–the subconscious belief set–for anything else, and because I didn’t know that my programming was the problem.
Belief is everything. Where focus goes, energy flows. What you think about, you bring about. I’d spent so much time in fear, worry, and in the belief that you have to work really, really, really, really hard and then sometimes the money might work out for you. Sometimes. Maybe. If you’re lucky. If God condescends to grant you that blessing.
That belief was sabotaging all my efforts. My brain had to validate my belief that money was hard, that hardship is life, that I wasn’t the type of person who was wealthy or for whom things came easily. I envied those people, but I wasn’t one of them. Who was I to have ease in life? Who was I to have abundance? Was I one of the lucky ones? Apparently that was a dream only meant for “those” people. And I was not one of “those” people, I was a victim of second-class, second-rate living, picking up the cast-offs of “those” people.
No matter how hard I worked, how tight I ran the budget, how disciplined I was with our money (and you guys, I was DISCIPLINED! I worked a budget like nobody’s business to keep us in the black! I mean, I killed it, but we had no fun, no extras, no frivolity, no unnecessary comforts that the majority of first-world dwellers enjoy), I was never going to get out of that state as long as those beliefs were running in the background under my efforts and actions. Belief is stronger than action!
Once I owned the fact that I had inadvertently contributed to my struggles, I had a couple of choices. I could beat myself up and drop into a state of despair and self-loathing because of how badly I had mismanaged my life, or I could give myself grace because I didn’t know any better and couldn’t possibly have done any better, nor did I have the resources to have learned better any sooner than I did.
Fortunately, I chose the second one, because that decision keeps me moving forward and creating new programming and a new life that is available for abundance and joy and ease and MUCH less stress. The first option offers nothing of value, but it is the one many people choose. They choose guilt and shame and fall back into the cycle of negative self-talk that gets them nowhere they want to be in a hurry.
It is incredibly hard to own the idea that you have created the pain in your life, but the sooner you do, the sooner you can create new programming that is more in alignment with what you truly want in life, and the faster you will create and manifest a new reality that is free from the pain you were suffering before. Belief is EVERYTHING!
This is such a tiny snippet of the work I do with people on this issue. If belief is something you struggle with, I highly recommend you head over to my packages page and sign up for my signature package so we can have 3 wonderful months together to get that new programming created and up and running on the way to the life of your wildest dreams!
You may also like...
The most miraculous thing happened twice in the last 2 days! Effortless happiness for no reason came over me!
Some background: until my early 20’s, I lived in a chronic state of depression. I literally didn’t know anything else. I put a negative spin on everything. I was scared of life. My inner voice was a total bully–super mean and nasty.
Free Breakthrough Call
Click here to sign up for a free 45 minute breakthrough call.
You’ll get a taste of how I coach and you’ll walk away with solutions to a challenge you’ve been struggling with.