I’m gonna just say it. Perfectionism is blasphemous. It goes well beyond being damaging to you. Being perfect is NOT your job. It’s not your job. It’s also not possible, and I don’t just mean it’s out of reach because it’s too hard. I mean that perfectionism is not attained based on your decisions so no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t possibly approach it.
Programming for Happiness
The most miraculous thing happened twice in the last 2 days!
🤩 Effortless happiness for no reason came over me! 🥳
Some background: until my early 20’s, I lived in a chronic state of depression. I literally didn’t know anything else. I put a negative spin on everything. I was scared of life. My inner voice was a total bully–super mean and nasty.
Once there was a break in the clouds, I started working on creating that feeling of “not depression” more and more in my life. It took about a decade, but I was eventually able to say that I was depression-free! Such an accomplishment not to have that heaviness and darkness rule my life!
But that didn’t mean that I was happy all the time. I was still a pretty pessimistic person. But my mind wasn’t a runaway freight train of darkness and despair anymore. The self-loathing was gone.
For the past 7 years, I’ve been on a super intentional, consistent personal development journey. I learn and work and practice mastering my mindset and loving myself and seeing my worth and conquering fears and doing big things.
But those presets of mine are powerful and deep-seated and it’s been a long road to find the right concepts to have all the puzzle pieces and figure out how to implement them. I consistently get better over time, but I have to work and fight and it takes conscious effort to feel gratitude and peace and optimism. It doesn’t come naturally or easily. It’s this major cerebral exercise to be happy outside of the moments where something awesome is actually happening.
But yesterday, something amazing happened!
I was getting out of the car at Costco, just doing my thing and randomly a feeling of abundance washed over me and the thought “money is easy and fun; there’s enough” popped into my mind WITHOUT ME HAVING TO TRY!
You guys. This is a huge miracle! That kind of thought has NEVER come to my mind on its own. I have ALWAYS had to choose it with conscious purpose! But it just came! And not only that, but it came in a moment that would usually spark fear and worry because I was about to go spend money! AND there’s not currently a bunch of extra money sitting in my account or anything. I know there’s more coming but it’s not there currently and I can’t just be all willy nilly about my expenditures this week. Yet a feeling of abundance came in on its own!
Then today, I was doing my meditation practice and a feeling of peace and happiness came over me with the thought, “life is good and fun!” Nothing had happened yet that morning that was good or fun. It was getting up, showering, dealing with the mess that is my kitchen, and my husband–whom I love more than anything in this world and am lost without–has been gone for 8 of the last 10 days and I miss my best friend terribly. I’m running on too little sleep because I keep staying up extra late since he’s gone and binge-watching Hulu. Nothing measurably good to spark the feeling had happened in my day.
Yet happiness came unbidden!
The programming is changing on a whole new level and it is so exciting!
It’s all coming down to one thing–I’m finally learning how to get out of my head and into my heart to FEEL the feelings of what I want instead of THINK about how the things I want WOULD feel. I’ve been taught this for years and am finally understanding HOW to do it. Having the emotional response to what you want is the core of vibration. I’m finally becoming an energetic match for happiness, for abundance, for joy, for peace!
If this has mystified you like it has me for all this time, I’d love to chat with you about it! Anyone want a free breakthrough call? Click on the button down below!
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I received a writing/meditating assignment to work through this week and I want to show you what it looks like to do the work of getting over your limiting beliefs, blocks, victimhood, etc. This is unedited, unorganized, off the top of my heart kind of stuff. I’m not perfecting this or organizing it for you–it’s exactly as it flowed out of me and onto the page.
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